Some couples lead a happy married life. Some, but not all. Instagram user erina_8107_ picked up on this issue. To help her followers out, the content creator posts helpful tidbits ensuring couples find the key to their happiness. On the SNS platform, Erina boasts more than 180,000 people following her account. Recently she shared this ten-part post on her account:
An old man was sitting by an oasis between two towns. A young man passing by asked the old man, "I'm going to the next town. How is it?” The old man asked the young man, “How was the town you were living in up till now?” Then, the young man replied with a sad face, "It was a dirty city with many bad people.” The old man replied, “Unfortunately, the neighboring town is also a dirty city with many bad people.” After that the young man left, another man came and asked the same question of the old man. The old man asked back, "How was the town you were living in up until now?" The man said, "It was a beautiful town with kind people.” The old man heard this and said, “That's great! The neighboring town is also beautiful, and kind people live there.” The first young man angrily replied, “Hey, you are a liar.” The old man smiled and asked back, “Why?” “Both are the same town, but you described them completely differently," the young man replied. The old man said quietly, "I've realized after many years that people only see what they want to see. What's good about determining either the good or bad aspects of a situation? It's just a different way of seeing the same thing."
If this tale sounds familiar, it was adapted from the book 読めば読むほど知恵が身につく まほうの寓話yomeba yomu hodo chie ga mi ni tsuku mahō no gūwa (magical fables which will impart more wisdom the more you read them) by career counselor Tomohiro Toda 戸田智弘. In this symbolic book, Toda explains the importance of "life power," an aptitude that IQ cannot measure. Throughout their lives, humans face many problems that even adults have difficulty answering. All people need to harvest the power of their wisdom to survive challenges and make good choices without regrets. Toda intends that the knowledge gained from his book will surely be of great help to the reader someday.
That said, Erina continued her post.
“How does this story apply to a married couple? When you see your husband messing around with his phone on the sofa, do you think, "If he is free, why doesn’t he do the dishes," or "He needs some time to relax?" It is important to see both sides of this situation before making a judgment.”
An emotionally abusive husband's checklist
However, the responsibility is shared across both partners. In a heterosexual marriage, husbands have their role to play too. In conservative Japan, many women find their husbands to be overbearing. They may be constricted in what they can and cannot do and may even experience what is referred to as "power harassment" in Japanese.
Erina also published this ten-part post addressing such situations:
He blames people and the environment for inconveniences
He acts friendly outside the home
He looks down on his wife
He rants about his complaints
He often preaches
He expects his wife to cut relationships with friends and even family members
He is prone to temper fits and yelling”
Erina continued:
He suddenly becomes very gentle
He can't apologize
He doesn't praise people
He often says ‘I do this for you’
He spends money on others but is stingy at home”
Erina’s followers reacted to this checklist:
“My husband does all of this.”
“That’s a check for all! I'm glad I got divorced before I was brainwashed!"
“Why are there so many men like this?”
“Not only is my husband emotionally abusive, but also I experience "power harassment" from my boss. It’s very tough. If I’d known this before, I wouldn’t have gotten married. I thought he might change if we had a child.”
Indeed, married couples experience challenges regardless of the culture they exist within. For couples in Japan, some pressures are familiar while others are unique to their society's customs. Unfortunately, it's not uncommon to hear about spouses being overly strict and demanding or emotionally abusive and controlling toward one another. Certainly, it's essential to consider many aspects of the other person's situation and respect one another.
Some couples lead a happy married life. Some, but not all. Instagram user erina_8107_ picked up on this issue. To help her followers out, the content creator posts helpful tidbits ensuring couples find the key to their happiness. On the SNS platform, Erina boasts more than 180,000 people following her account. Recently she shared this ten-part post on her account:
(Happy marriages vs Unhappy marriages)
An old man was sitting by an oasis between two towns. A young man passing by asked the old man, "I'm going to the next town. How is it?” The old man asked the young man, “How was the town you were living in up till now?” Then, the young man replied with a sad face, "It was a dirty city with many bad people.” The old man replied, “Unfortunately, the neighboring town is also a dirty city with many bad people.” After that the young man left, another man came and asked the same question of the old man. The old man asked back, "How was the town you were living in up until now?" The man said, "It was a beautiful town with kind people.” The old man heard this and said, “That's great! The neighboring town is also beautiful, and kind people live there.” The first young man angrily replied, “Hey, you are a liar.” The old man smiled and asked back, “Why?” “Both are the same town, but you described them completely differently," the young man replied. The old man said quietly, "I've realized after many years that people only see what they want to see. What's good about determining either the good or bad aspects of a situation? It's just a different way of seeing the same thing."
If this tale sounds familiar, it was adapted from the book 読めば読むほど知恵が身につく まほうの寓話 yomeba yomu hodo chie ga mi ni tsuku mahō no gūwa (magical fables which will impart more wisdom the more you read them) by career counselor Tomohiro Toda 戸田智弘. In this symbolic book, Toda explains the importance of "life power," an aptitude that IQ cannot measure. Throughout their lives, humans face many problems that even adults have difficulty answering. All people need to harvest the power of their wisdom to survive challenges and make good choices without regrets. Toda intends that the knowledge gained from his book will surely be of great help to the reader someday.
That said, Erina continued her post.
“How does this story apply to a married couple? When you see your husband messing around with his phone on the sofa, do you think, "If he is free, why doesn’t he do the dishes," or "He needs some time to relax?" It is important to see both sides of this situation before making a judgment.”
An emotionally abusive husband's checklist
However, the responsibility is shared across both partners. In a heterosexual marriage, husbands have their role to play too. In conservative Japan, many women find their husbands to be overbearing. They may be constricted in what they can and cannot do and may even experience what is referred to as "power harassment" in Japanese.
Erina also published this ten-part post addressing such situations:
“(An emotionally abusive husband's checklist)
Erina continued:
Erina’s followers reacted to this checklist:
Indeed, married couples experience challenges regardless of the culture they exist within. For couples in Japan, some pressures are familiar while others are unique to their society's customs. Unfortunately, it's not uncommon to hear about spouses being overly strict and demanding or emotionally abusive and controlling toward one another. Certainly, it's essential to consider many aspects of the other person's situation and respect one another.