- Source:
- togetter.com
- Tags:
- coffee shop / communication / Japan / personal information / privacy / sense of distance / Togetter
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It's a situation many of us can relate to. Going to a clothes store and feeling as if the sales clerk won't leave you alone. Or going to a restaurant where the waiter is too chatty for comfort. Sometimes, you just want to enjoy some privacy and be left alone. It can be a fine line to negotiate. Some customers love opportunities to chat and others want their interactions to be cut and dry.
Unwelcome communication?
This topic recently came up on Japanese social media after Vtuber and creator Machinery Tomoko (@barzam154) posted (and subsequently deleted) a Tweet relating her experience at a neighborhood coffee shop:
@barzam154__
"There's a nice privately-operated coffee shop just about 5 minutes from where I live. The prices aren't too expensive and I was thinking it looked good, but when it was time to ring up my bill, the owner said: 'This is your first time, right? I look forward to [serving you] again.' I thought to myself: 'I don't ever want to come back to this shop.' It's so regrettable... Such a pity..."
To clarify her position, she continued with the following two Tweets:
"Hey shops, please. Don't try to engage in communication with customers."
"There's another pattern where it became difficult for me to go to a coffee shop. There's a relatively well-known long-established coffee shop near my previous workplace. One day, an opening suddenly popped up in my schedule, so I said to myself: 'Alright then,' and stopped by. I enjoyed myself but when it was time to ring up my bill, for some reason they asked me: 'Are you a traveler?' I haven't been back to that shop since..."
Reactions
The original tweet had garnered over 15,000 likes and over 9,200 retweets, inspiring an entry on the Twitter news aggregation site Togetter, which is currently ranked at the top of their trending entries list and already has 115,000 views at the time of writing.
Empathetic comments
Many of the initial commenters empathized with Tomoko Machinery, revealing that they had similar encounters and could relate to her sentiments:
"I get this ... I'd definitely never go there again..."
"I understand. When you go to a shop a few times and they tell you: 'Thanks for always shopping with us.' I don't like that."
"I understand this. I went to a Dotour {a large Japanese coffee shop chain} a few times and was thinking of becoming a regular customer. One day, the manager began trying to sell me their point card when he said: 'Oh... Sorry about that. I've already explained this to you before. You often come here, don't you?' He said with a smile, but then I thought to myself: 'Sorry, but I'm never coming back...'"
However, there's a difference between a waiter continually interrupting your meal or hovering nearby and the interactions described in these posts. So what was it that caused these posters such discomfort?
One commenter suggested that it was the realization that shop staff have become aware of them as private individuals.
(...) Some people don't like it when staff say things beyond what is necessary. For example, 'That suits you,' at a clothing store. It's the kind of communication that says: 'I am recognizing you as a private individual' They might think: 'I've only just met you, so this distance between us is suddenly too close,' 'Basically, just leave me alone,' or the like."
Although it isn't unique to Japan, many people are very sensitive about private information. This, combined with an aversion to staff members who "say things beyond what is necessary," can explain this sentiment.
Different folks, different strokes
Of course, not all those who commented valued their privacy to this extent.
"Personally, when staff say things like that to me at a coffee shop, it makes me relaxed. So, no sarcasm intended, I wonder why you dislike having that said to you so much."
"For this topic, I think it depends on the person. I think there are some people who enjoy it. From the shop's point of view, they probably appreciate customers who enjoy that over those who get a bad impression of them when that happens."
"It's a difference in values. Personally, I'm happy with it."